ok, was looking in device manager (devices by connection - under view)
and in pci bus, it has all the pci devices. i uninstalled one of the devices, and then scan for hardware changes. then it recognized it! i thought i had success. then i right clicked on the desktop, and there was identy 1,2,3, and 4. it was there. i thought it was number 3, i drug it over, hit apply. then the computer seemed to freeze. so then i had to push the power button. then i restarted and it wasn't there anymore, and hasn't been there since. wtf?
it did this with it in pci slot second from the bottom. i've also tried this with it in the 1st. nothing. i tried it in the very bottom one, and then i got no display from anything. i didn't understand that.