Interesting bit of news for me: sometime in the past 6 hours my order made it to testing. When I check my status online, everything is current. Sounds like I'm headed straight for boxing, and then maybe an order cancelation? Or perhaps a shipment? Who knows. I'd like to think of this as progress, but I fear that parts are still unavailable, and this is all a hoax.
I did get a free Dell All in One 962 printer for waiting so long, and a priority on my order (riiighhttt). I'm a little more optimistic about my order.
Edit: And apparently I got overnight shipping too, since it says it ships on April 11th to be delivered on the 12th. Sweet. I guess I'm good at this Dell game.