Buying extra ram and putting it into your laptop DOES NOT void warranty as long as the upgraded part itself did not cause the problem!! My R32 came with 256MB and I put another 256MB into it. I've also upgraded the 30Gb 4,200rpm to a 60Gb 7,200rpm. Since then I've taken it for repairs due to numerous reasons, ie fan failure and they have never rejected me. They do record the spec of my computer every time I take it in for service and they never ever fuss about it. Upgrading parts through any large computer company like IBM/Dell/Compaq is always a rip-off.
Also, buying the exact same RAM, but not from IBM will not prevent them from knowing that it is a user-upgraded part since all IBM parts have a barcode on them and from the model number (For example 1836Q4H), they know exactly what came with the computer and wouldn't take them long to find any non-IBM part.
I hope this helps a bit.