Reputation Points Thread - Page 4242  

I beat HL2 last night, I think I may try CS:S tonight

afternoon all

whats up people??

Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife


Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that letter you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

you want to know something that sucks? A dell tech came today to replace my lcd and the bezel (because he scratched it on the last lcd replacement). This new lcd has very little light leakage, so I will probably keep it, but he scratched the replacement bezel....what the hell...Now I am debating whether I should contact Dell or not, I really don't like having scratches on my brand new laptop, especially ones I didn't put there.

Very Very Funny

Check this one out:

Subject: FW: Reasoning monkeys

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result: all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Soon, whenever another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

By this point, most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After all the original monkeys have been replaced, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know, that's the way it's always been done.

And that, my friends, is how company policies begin.

Oh that does suck, well if you are not happy then get them to send you a new bezel and get it sorted. If there tech messed it up then they should sort it - period. i know its alot of messing about but as you say scratches on ur lappy it aint good enough.

I just printed that off and showed a few here at work, they all said "How very true"

Sad, isn't it?

So what did the one snowman say to the other snowman?

Smells like carrots!!!!

Do you smell carrots?

Dave, sadly was born without ears, although successful in business this
problem did annoy him greatly. One day he needed to hire a new manager for
his company. He set up three interviews.
>
The first guy was great.  He knew everything he needed to know and was
very interesting. But at the end of the interview, Dave asked him, "Do you
notice anything different about me?"
"Why, yes, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears," came the reply. Dave did not appreciate his candour and threw him out of the office.
>
The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. But he asked her the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" "Well," she said stammering, "you have no ears." Dave again got upset and chucked her out in a rage.
>
The third and final interviewee was the best of the bunch, he was a young man who had recently earned his BSc (Hons).  He was smart, handsome, and he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Dave was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you notice anything different about  me?" Much to his surprise, the young man answered, "Yes, you wear Contact lenses, don't you?"
> Dave was shocked and realised this was an incredibly observant person.
> "How in the world did you know that?", he asked. The young man fell off his chair
> laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no f***ing ears!"

Man escapes from a prison where he has been kept for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
The fugitive orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, takes the woman and ties her to the bed. In the middle of it, he gets on top of her, kisses her on
the neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his
clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and
hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your
neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain,
do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is probably dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us.
Be strong, honey. I love you".

To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my
neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was
gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any
Vaseline in the bathroom. I told him where to find it.

Be strong, honey. I love you, too."

those stories are funny,

They are funny..

w00t w00t!!!

so who is going to see Superman Returns tonight?